Buried
Febuary 06
Frantic fears are here now. Fears I have, I know I can't help. I can't get rid of them, so I bury them. Deep inside not to come out. Some came out, showed their face. I put them behind a smile and a voice that says, "I'm okay." I turn around and see they've gone, back to their hiding place and buried once more.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Childhood Mess
Febuary 06
I don't understand what I ever did to deserve this. All from my childhood past revealed. I realize I need to know, why this had to happen so. My one question, my only wish, is to know why. My greatest fears are greater than most may age. I take one look at the fears of others and think, "I wish mine were that little." To be a normal teen, just worrying about fashion or school work instead of my past coming back to life.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Panicked
2-2-06
I ran from him and never looked back. Friends to help me and stand by me through this Afraid of what could've been. They tell me I did the right thing but it's hard to believe. I never believed them until one person said it. A person I love, a person I trust and a person I feel completely safe with. I feel safe in her arms and believe every word she says. She brings me great comfort as I work through this hard time. Working through this mess brings a lot of thoughts to mind. Thoughts about the past, the present and the future have me boggled to no end. Pondering all the questions in my head, I cannot seem to answer even just one. My questions unanswered I can only seem to know how frustrating this all is. I take one look at what is and realize this isn't what I have planned. I didn't plan any of this but apparently God did. I have no clue why he planned all my tragedies but I know through the pain I endure, I get closer to him everyday. Healing in my pain he brings me closer with the passing of each day and the great help of someone held dear.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Nothing
5-13-06
Overwhelming loneliness
Nothingness growning inside
I feel as though I am nothing
Like I can't be seen.
I've taken away all my thoughts
I think of nothing but the days that I've spent in my world.
The thought of my world looking so dull, almost glum compared to life.
The real world in which I live seems so fictionary to mine.
My soul cannot find its footing in the ground.
Thoughts and feelings, up and down, my soul knows not which way to turn to be found.
Tape it high, tape it low, just so I know, where I left my heart alone.
I want it back, no need to say it has a home.
I have it back. Now don't ask me how, my ups and downs are still around but my heart is back that's all I know.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
No Sound, None At All
4-3-06
Quietness is all around. I open my mouth but make no sound. No one listens, no one hears, the many sounds I make aloud. I see myself inside and out and know not who I am now. Around my mind I don't know how this has really come about. To see myself and not know how I am who I am now. It amazes me sometimes to see all around me people that are out. But me, within God's presence, a Christian for lifes long last. I know I am better off than some, I know now because I know God. My search is over, I have what I was looking for but some, sadly, are still looking. Still looking for the almighty one, the king of kings, and the savior. Waiting for him to pick them up off their feet and say, "It's all okay." It's okay to say I love the Lord, it's okay to believe in him. Take his word and remember all. All around I heard no sound but now quietness is now where to be found.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Febuary 06
Frantic fears are here now. Fears I have, I know I can't help. I can't get rid of them, so I bury them. Deep inside not to come out. Some came out, showed their face. I put them behind a smile and a voice that says, "I'm okay." I turn around and see they've gone, back to their hiding place and buried once more.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Childhood Mess
Febuary 06
I don't understand what I ever did to deserve this. All from my childhood past revealed. I realize I need to know, why this had to happen so. My one question, my only wish, is to know why. My greatest fears are greater than most may age. I take one look at the fears of others and think, "I wish mine were that little." To be a normal teen, just worrying about fashion or school work instead of my past coming back to life.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Panicked
2-2-06
I ran from him and never looked back. Friends to help me and stand by me through this Afraid of what could've been. They tell me I did the right thing but it's hard to believe. I never believed them until one person said it. A person I love, a person I trust and a person I feel completely safe with. I feel safe in her arms and believe every word she says. She brings me great comfort as I work through this hard time. Working through this mess brings a lot of thoughts to mind. Thoughts about the past, the present and the future have me boggled to no end. Pondering all the questions in my head, I cannot seem to answer even just one. My questions unanswered I can only seem to know how frustrating this all is. I take one look at what is and realize this isn't what I have planned. I didn't plan any of this but apparently God did. I have no clue why he planned all my tragedies but I know through the pain I endure, I get closer to him everyday. Healing in my pain he brings me closer with the passing of each day and the great help of someone held dear.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
Nothing
5-13-06
Overwhelming loneliness
Nothingness growning inside
I feel as though I am nothing
Like I can't be seen.
I've taken away all my thoughts
I think of nothing but the days that I've spent in my world.
The thought of my world looking so dull, almost glum compared to life.
The real world in which I live seems so fictionary to mine.
My soul cannot find its footing in the ground.
Thoughts and feelings, up and down, my soul knows not which way to turn to be found.
Tape it high, tape it low, just so I know, where I left my heart alone.
I want it back, no need to say it has a home.
I have it back. Now don't ask me how, my ups and downs are still around but my heart is back that's all I know.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
No Sound, None At All
4-3-06
Quietness is all around. I open my mouth but make no sound. No one listens, no one hears, the many sounds I make aloud. I see myself inside and out and know not who I am now. Around my mind I don't know how this has really come about. To see myself and not know how I am who I am now. It amazes me sometimes to see all around me people that are out. But me, within God's presence, a Christian for lifes long last. I know I am better off than some, I know now because I know God. My search is over, I have what I was looking for but some, sadly, are still looking. Still looking for the almighty one, the king of kings, and the savior. Waiting for him to pick them up off their feet and say, "It's all okay." It's okay to say I love the Lord, it's okay to believe in him. Take his word and remember all. All around I heard no sound but now quietness is now where to be found.
-By: Jenessa Fisk (Me)
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